Bah, Humbug

Ah, Christmas: the lights, the laughter, the presents and - most importantly, in my opinion - the food. Suddenly, however, the joys of the festive season seem to be sullied with a bad case of Scrooge-itis. Everything and everyone seems to be against Christmas these days. People complaining about everything from when the Christmas lights go up (“It’s still 3 days ‘till Christmas, why are they putting them up so early?!”) to the social etiquette of gift-buying (“Well she’s in my Psychology class, and she once lent me a pen; maybe I should buy her something.”). Not to mention the plethora of idiots who whine about the fact Christmas stock arrives in shops so early, and then whine about the fact they don’t have enough time to do all their Christmas shopping.

Christmas-loathing also extends to those dreading having to be nice to long-lost relations (“My, haven’t you grown?” “Yes, Great-Auntie Muriel, I have, because last time you saw I was young enough to be wearing elephant-pattern leggings and not be making a fashion statement.”), and to those who have decided Christmas is simply over-commercialised (“Dude, by buying people presents and spreading the love, you’re totally conforming to our capitalist society.” Right, well I won’t be buying one for you then.).

And, of course, accompanying all this are the manic cries of political correctness gone mad, as supposedly “open-minded” people call for Christmas to be abolished, or at least made less Christianity-orientated. Now I’m no supporter of Christianity – or religion at all for that matter – but last time I checked, Christmas was a Christian holiday. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that sort of give it the right to be Christianity-orientated?

Political correctness isn’t the only current issue rallying against the season to be jolly; global warming has also decided to put a damper on the Christmas spirit – literally. This year, even the most optimistic among us aren’t dreaming of a white Christmas. It’s more likely to be a sort of greyish colour, as it is forecast to be the wettest December on record in the UK.

It is for these reasons that it’s highly unfortunate I love Christmas. The completely commercial, overindulgent, ridiculous merriment of it. I love it when the first Coca-Cola advert heralds the start of the festive season, and when Radio One starts playing The Pogues & Kirsty McColl’s ‘Fairytale Of New York’ (best Christmas song ever), when ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and ‘Home Alone’ become the only films on TV, and when you buy a 100-pack of cards and realise that won’t be enough. I already have Christmas decorations up in my room – but then again, I never took them down from last year. So apologies to you all, but I, for one, fully intend to be annoyingly happy about the holidays and will be singing Christmas songs as loudly as is humanly possible from now until New Year.